Tears and Wine
by hjemmelavet
Summary: Cassie’s situation after Janet’s death Daniel reminds his own loss and is in need of a friend.


Daniel felt it again. Felt the loneliness filling his body, which caught at his heart with a strong hold, surrounding it with coldness.

Daniel Jackson, member of SG-1, who had thought he had fought his fear, felt fear again. Helpless. Chilly. Immobilized.

The wine in front of him had only a poor effect. Tears found the way to his eyes. Chilly, wet, leaving their winding marks on his cheeks. A small sparkle, feelings untenable, coming to the surface. He was desperate. Didn't know what to do in order to recover lost space of self-control. After a while he knew it. There was only one cure for his lonely heart.

***

Jack was inspired by the sound of his telephone. Luckily he had positioned it near the bed long years ago, so he was able to answer to it almost immediately. Still half-asleep he grasped the receiver.

"O'Neill."

"Jack?" was the quiet answer with a coarse voice.

Jack tried to classify the voice. Ending up with the question why the hell Daniel was calling him in the middle of the night. He glanced towards is alarm-clock. 2 am. Fuck.

"Daniel? Everything alright?"

"I…uh…" Daniel didn't seem to know why exactly he called.

"Everything fine at your's, Daniel?"

"Uhm…yeah. But…uhm…Jack?"  
"Yeah?"

"Could you come?"  
Jack was suddenly wide awake – Did he just hear a sob? A sob coming from Daniel? His friend sounded baffled, deranged, and – what shocked Jack the most – sad.

"Sure. On my way."

Jack managed to leave the house within two minutes, made the way to Daniel within the usual driving time – at night – and finally stopped his truck in front of the apartment building. Wondering why Daniel needed him to come around and alarmed by the thought of Daniel's tone, Jack made the way across the street and up the stairs.

Pausing in front of the door he took a last deep breath, before he knocked at the door. The time past slowly. One minute, then another.

"Daniel?" Jack kept his voice low in order to let the neighbours take their beauty sleep – remembering the old, gross lady to the left – Jack decided that they might need it. Grinning lightly at that thought he knocked again.

After Daniel had finally found the willpower to rise from his couch and to open the door for his friend, he made right the way back to sit in front of the nearly empty bottle of wine again.

Stunned by the non verbal salutation of his friend, Jack stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind himself. Looking around he noticed nothing had changed since his last visit some weeks ago. Every inch of deposit was still covered with artefacts and odds and ends. Smiling by Daniel's habits, he tossed his keys into one of the bowls standing on the sideboard. Then he continued his way to the living room, where he found Daniel sitting on the couch, his elbows on his knees, and the head resting heavy in his hands.

"Today a wine-eve'?" O'Neill asked in his usual joking manner, noticing the half-empty bottle standing in front of his friend, who seemed already tiddly and in a quiet an unfamiliar condition.

No answer.

Shrugging Jack fell into the big armchair. Stretching his legs wide off himself, taking a deep breath. What was the trouble? Why had Daniel actually call him? Want him to be here, when he was only starring at his hands, like they were offering the answer to the world's biggest secret?

"Daniel?"

No response.

"Daniel?"

Again Daniel didn't react to it.

"Doctor Jackson!" Jack called out, a bit harsher than he planned to do.

Daniel finally raised his head. Just in that moment blue eyes met brown ones. Jack could see the shimmer behind the blue. Are these tearing traces on Daniel's cheeks? Couldn't be, could they? Daniel crying? What the hell was the matter? Why?

"Daniel?"  
"Jack?" was the simple response. He moved his head into that resting position in his hands again. Resignation.

"Talk to me, what's the trouble?"

Jack wasn't good at this – both men knew that, so Daniel forced himself to an answer, not able to leave his friend in the lurch any longer.

"I,…uh…thanks for coming."

No response, but he was able to read the answer right in Jack's face. Jack was a soldier; nevertheless Daniel had always managed to read his face like a book. And he was good with books. As a matter of course Jack had come. He would come all the times.

"I knew you would come."

"Sure Danny, but tell me why?"

The pet name made Daniel lift his head, smiling sadly remembering the way his parents had called him Dannyboy a long time ago. Before the accident… He rested against the backrest.

"Today, I…ahm...Cassandra, she had this sad expression on her face, her eyes were… I remember the time with my parents, than the…" he wasn't able to say the words.

Nevertheless, Jack knew exactly what he meant. The accident. The death of Daniel's parents – both at the same day – and the fallowing lonely childhood Daniel must have suffered from. He was sure that the death of Janet Fraiser and Cassie's present situation reminded Daniel at his own loss.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Daniel managed to say between two gulp of wine, "Not your fault." He tried desperately to calm himself down, to keep his voice at a normal pitch. Unavailingly.

"It's just…"

A sob.

Daniel in front of him, holding his head in his hands, crying. Jack couldn't help but smile lightly, because there were times in which Jack O'Neill admired Daniel Jackson. Jealous of Daniel's ability to let go, show his tears, let the weakness take control. Jack hadn't done that for years, and he didn't plan on doing so in future. Never show weakness, be always the strong soldier, he repeated his long lasting mantra. Feeling suddenly doltish with it.

Daniel had chosen the other way, crying in front of him, instead of hiding his feelings in a mask, Jack had become so familiar with.

Suddenly Jack understood why Daniel had called him. He needed his friend to be there, comfort him, give him strength, and make him less lonely.

Without his usual hesitation Jack rose from his position opposite Daniel and sat on the couch next to his friend.

"I'm here, Daniel."

Daniel opened his eyes thankfully, feeling Jack's hand resting comforting on his knee. The warm touch steadying him with unexpected intense – so much better than the wine or the tears that were still falling down on his cheeks. He managed a small smile before closing his eyes again, unable to see Jack's gaze laying on him.

"When I saw Cassandra for the first time today, I noticed this expression in her eyes, spread all over her face. And I knew it quiet well. Loneliness. I felt it for years, being handed from one family to another. We…" Again a sob. "We need to find a place to stay for her, but also a family. Love. Care. She needs…a family."

So do you, Daniel, Jack thought sadly. Or better: So you did. Jack was sure the one thing Daniel needed the most right know wasn't a family, but a friend. The assurance he wasn't alone anymore. Slowly he raised his arm and rested it on Daniel's shoulder, moving in big strokes over his back – calming him.

"We will, Spacemonkey, we will."

***

Daniel awaked in his bed, wondering how he gotten into it. But due to the fact that he was only wearing a shirt and his underwear, he supposed, Jack had taken care of his clothes as well as of him. A pitiful smile was all he had left over for himself, at the thought of his body's inability to cope more than a glass of wine. Or alcohol itself, for the matter. Gaping he rose.

He remembered drinking the whole bottle of while alone, while Jack had found a beer for himself. Drinking, sobbing some more, always with Jack's hand supportively resting at his back. Resting his head against Jack's shoulder. Inhaling the vivid scent of his friend, Daniel had known he wasn't alone. Jack was there for him. And so he was now, according to the snoring coming from his living room.

Smiling Daniel entered the bathroom. A warm feeling in his chest. The grasp of the cold around his heart eased up.

Fresh showered but still tired, Daniel stepped into the hallway. Jack was still snoring. The sound grew with every step he took into his direction. Looking at his sideboard a smile found the way onto Daniel's lips. Jack's keys.

He hadn't to search long to what he'd been looking for. After rummaging through a drawer he found his spare key.

Trying to act soundless, Daniel added the key to Jack's bunch of keys. And placed it in the bowl again.

Taking a few steps forward he was able to watch his dormant friend. Jack, spread all over the couch, his feet hanging over the edge of it. The snoring was still present, but what touched Daniel the most was Jack's facial expression. Jack O'Neill, the soldier, the commander, leader of SG-1 was asleep like a baby. Smiling in his sleep. A peaceful expression spread all over his face. Just like he didn't know the pain this man had seen over the years. The knowledge that Jack was able to look that peacefully in his sleep after all he had gone through gave Daniel new hope. For himself – and for Cassie.

After Jack had had the smell of fresh coffee in his nose, he had enjoyed Daniel's morning routine. Coffee, then the paper, again coffee, dressing (Daniel hadn't even bothered to dress up in anything but his boxers after showering) and another cup of coffee.

Jack had showered and had eaten toast before the two men left the building in order to get to the mountain, after dropping by at Jack's to give him the chance to change and grab his things. They had agreed on sharing a ride to the base, leaving Daniel's car in front of Jack's house.

This would give them the chance to talk and simply care for each other. Jack planned to get Daniel a little drunk again this evening, just enough to make him stay overnight – a chance for him to pay back the breakfast at Daniel's.

Smiling at the thought Jack stopped his truck in order to get into his house. With a few wide steps he was standing in front of his door. Tossing the keys around, he noticed the modified weight and grinned when he realized that another key had been added to his Bund. Daniel's key. Little Spacemonkey getting comfy with his friend around? He'd deal with that.

Only five minutes later Jack was back at the car. Getting in, closing the door and starting the engine. Before he pulled out, Jack smiled at his friend beside him.

"Thanks, buddy."


End file.
